The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
