Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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