Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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