I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
