i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Boobs speak an international language.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
you never un-have a 4some
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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