I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
