My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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