I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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