Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
