i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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