shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
