East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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