he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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