The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize