i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
