Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
