I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
