Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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