i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
