oh god the rape fog is back!
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
me + whiskey = a bad person
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
