we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
worst night to have a conscience
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
