Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
