yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
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