You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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