Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
