thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I am in a vortex of obligation.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
