I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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