actually, I'm a sock model
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
