sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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