We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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