I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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