A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
