You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
is wine microwaveable?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
