last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
