So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
