the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Randomize
