I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Randomize
