Three words: puerto rican gang bang
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
