ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
