I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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