But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
