At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize