me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
