friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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