i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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