We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
