member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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