No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize