Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
