Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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