Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
