Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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