you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
