im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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