It's like God shit irony all over that family
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
