That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize