girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
