Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
