I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
