Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
